The family and friends had gathered to say their good-byes.
That warm spring afternoon at the side of a grave.
To the woman to whom many were family and all were her friends.
Each held special memories that they all did cherish and save.

The woman was well known and liked by all.
Strong in her church, a pillar of her community.
Loved and honored and respected by all.
But there was a side of her life that they had never been shown, nor seen.

For upon a hillside and far from the crowd,
Carefully hidden under the branches of an old oak tree.
Stood a man alone, in leathers and boots,
Mourning what was lost, and now would never be.

The woman honored he had for so long cherished and loved.
For she had long ago taken his collar and his heart as well.
He stood apart watching the funeral, alone.
And endured a pain that seemed to come straight out of hell.

For this part of her life she had not shared with another.
This was a secret she had held until her final breath.
The leather clad man's tears fell softly about him,
As he prayed for the strength to endure this final test.

He could not join with the group, standing below on the hillside.
For their sort of love they could not understand nor could he explain.
He refused to alter the memories of her friends and loved ones.
Far better in silence to endure his own pain.

At last he saw the ceremony ending,
The coffin was lowered and the grave swiftly filled.
And as the last person left, he started down that hillside,
To give his last respects, for with all his heart he knew that he loved her still.

How long he knelt there as the twilight gathered,
Later not even he could say.
He only knew that his love had forever left him,
And he was not sure that he could, or wanted to survive this day.

Never had a man been so alone, he thought to himself.
Where were the family that knew the truth of their life, and love?
In shadows they had lived and loved, and now it was in shadows he mourned her.
A mere shell at the loss of his Sub.

As he turned to go, tears blinding his way.
He sensed he was not alone.
It was in anger he looked to see who disturbed his grief.
And found his family of leather that shared his tears and moans.

Without a word he stepped back from the grave,
He watched them silently file by.
Each in their own way giving their respects and honors,
To this woman, their sister who had died.

At last they stood around him,
Each had finished with their good-bye's.
He sensed it was time to leave this place of mourning,
And the woman he had so dearly loved that had died.

"From this day forth I go on alone," he said.
For I cannot, and will not love again."
But a tiny subby smiled and said,
"Sir, that against her would be the greatest sin."

"Your loss is great, and your pain is greater,
And a bitter harvest from this seed is sown.
So grieve as you must and then arise and continue,
Do not forever carry with you the weight of this unbearable stone."

He looked at the sub with tears at her wisdom.
As he realized she had but told him what he already had known.
With a slight smile he bowed his head and nodded in acceptance.
For he was part of a family, and in that family he was never alone.

©Sir Wolfr1
June 15th, 2003
All Rights Reserved

SirWolfr1's Home group In Tulsa will be holding a memorial Service in a few weeks. We will notify all of you when that date has been set.

And so Ill go, and yet I know
That Ill think of you each step of my way
And I will always love you

I will always love you
Bitter-sweet memories
Thats all I have, and all Im taking with me
Good-bye, oh, please dont cry


I will always love you
I will always love you
And I hope life, will treat you kind
And I hope that you have all
That you ever dreamed of
Oh, I do wish you joy
And I wish you happiness
But above all this
I wish you love
I love you, I will always love you

When panda heard about Passionate Desire's illness,
she made this graphic for her friend Sirwolfr1
In hopes he would know she was reaching to comfort him from above


Midi and words from I Will Always Love You written by Dolly Parton,
Midi Sequenced by Michael D MacDonald
Used with permssion

Page designed with help from above by cajunrose

Please sign Passionate Desire's guestbook we are reading it to SirWorlf1 and each other several times a day.